Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Ohai! It's been a while...

So, I haven't posted in 6 months. Frankly, I've been busy as hell. Three kids? What?! How on earth does anyone DO that.

In truth, and if we're shooting straight, I let myself go. I'm still in that state. My kids have come way, way before me. I don't get a chance to bathe, I don't get to eat when the others eat, I don't get to rest when the others rest. It's been pretty shitty. Worse, I had some post-partum depression after Charlie was born, and I never got rid of it. Then, along comes Katie, and now I'm profoundly depressed. But I'm also sick of it. I'm pissed at myself for letting myself get to this state, and I don't want to live like this. I miss showers. I miss remembering things. I miss all of that.

So, here we are. I've made some steps to practice better self care, because my therapist yesterday told me point-blank "You suck at self care." That's pretty unacceptable, when everyone around me is chewing me out for not taking care of ME. I can't take care of everyone else if I can't take care of myself. So here we are. And here's what I'm working on.

1) I have a doctor's appointment for a medication adjustment right after Christmas. I am both excited beyond words and dreading this appointment horribly. But, regardless of how I feel about it, it has GOT to be done.
2) I've signed up for FlyLady. Apparently, it's going to be babysteps to get myself back on track, and lots of people swear by it. We're gonna give it a shot. Chris told me he'd buy me livingroom furniture and let me paint if I keep the house clean. So, I have to win this bet. (I love nothing more than beating my husband/proving him wrong.)
3) I'm going to start demanding time for myself, when it is at all feasible.

Does anyone else have any suggestions? Anything you can tell me?

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