I guess for my inaugural blog, I should probably discuss my plans for this little corner of cyberspace. In essence, it is going to be exactly what the title says....the anonymous confessions of a lunatic housewife. (That would be me.) I intend to hold back very, very little in this blog about myself and my absolutely, fabulously hilarious life. I tend to swear, but not to a horrible extent. It's the curse of being a musician's daughter, I suppose. My husband told me to only post things I would want my parents, grandparents and HIS parents reading. I'll try....but I'm still gonna be me. So, beware...this is my life, uncensored. With the occasional typo and spelling/grammatical error.
Who IS this woman, you may ask. Good question. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Here's what I've got so far.
I'm thirty-one years old. I'm still trying to figure out how in the world I got to be in my early thirties...seriously. I am married to a giant nordic looking-fellow, Chris, who will be making frequent appearances in this blog. I have two riotous little boys, Andy (5) and Charlie (19mos), who are the reason I do just about everything I do...good and bad. (That bald spot on the right side of my head? That's Charlie learning to climb everything in sight. The doc says it'll grow back one day.) I'm knocked up with baby #3, a little girl we're planning to name Katie. At least they tell me she's a little girl. I think she's a ninja spider monkey with extra appendages. Actually, as of today, 4/13, I am 8 months pregnant. (Kill me.) I am genuinely petrified at the idea of having a little girl. I mean, I can barely get my own hair to look decent, what the hell am I going to do with a little girl's hair? She'd better like trucks and dinosaurs, that's all I'm sayin'.
I live a little over an hour from my hometown in Virginia, and I'm in the suburb of a mid-sized city. I love it, but I desperately miss my family. DESPERATELY miss my family. It's getting better, although I'm sure in about two months when I'm locked in the house with a newborn, an almost-two-year-old and a kindergartener, I'm going to be full of piss and vinegar about wanting to go home. I like weird, old music and crime shows. I collect deviled egg plates, and I'm the crappiest housekeeper you'll ever meet - although that's getting better. I still go to outrageous lengths to avoid washing the dishes. I will use parenthesis too often in this blog, I'm sure of it. I'll touch on some deep thoughts and opinions I have, but I'll try to do it with humor and a hint of panache.
Topics I'm thinking about blogging in the next few weeks -
- Pet Ownership from a severely-allergic-person's point of view.
- Get over yourselves, people, the sky is not falling.
- Haley - A day in the life.
- My addictions. (Don't worry, it's not crank or anything. Although you wouldn't know that from looking at my teeth)
- The joys of parenting - OR - top ten things noone ever told me at my baby showers.
- Celebrities whose fame I just don't get.
For now, though, I'm going to skedaddle. Primarily because my little fetus is using my bladder as a trampoline and Charlie is too quiet for my comfort level.
Y'all be good.