So, here's what happened today. (spoiler - I didn't have the amnio and we're not having a baby today. Probably not tomorrow. I'm horribly upset.)
I went to the doc with my hopes higher than Paris Hilton on any given Tuesday. I had my bags packed in the car and even my pillow with me. I got back there, signed all the paperwork, laid back, they found a pocket of fluid to draw from, and then it happened. I got faint.
This is actually a pretty common thing when having any kind of ultrasound. It's why they tell pregnant women NOT to sleep on thier backs, but rather on thier sides, especially thier left side. The massive girth of my uterus compressed my aorta, my pressures dropped, and I got faint. The impending faintness made me panic, I insisted that I had to sit up, and that was that. I missed my shot. There is only a certain window of time that one of these can be done in a day at my doctor's office b/c they have to be able to send the results by a certain time. This window was missed today, ergo no baby today. I begged, I pleaded, I apologized, I cried in a hysterical fashion. (I wish I was exaggerating about that part, but it's true. I have not been in such a state in a very, very long time.)
They took me to another room and did a NST (non-stress test.) Katie was also uncooperative during that test...what should have taken 20 minutes took more like 45. I stooped to the level of telling the daughter in my distended abdomen that she needed to cut the crap, and if she didn't behave herself I was going to take back all her pretty dresses and cool toys and make her wear a burlap sack and a diaper. As insane as that sounds, it seemed to work - they finally got the info they needed (from the NST), and she looks great. Happy and healthy.
Listen, I've had days with my kids where they were just wild and seemed to be going out of thier way to cause problems. All parents have. But a FETUS?? Seriously?? Sigh.
The doctor came in and talked to me once I had calmed down to a level that I was coherent. The plan is currently as follows: he is talking to a perinatologist (preemie specialist) at the hospital where I'm supposed to deliver to basically say "Hey, what would you do in this situation?" After he does that, he's going to call me back. Until then, I'm chained to the bed, and not in a way my husband would enjoy.
I just want to say, this is NOT the doctor's fault. As frustrated as I am, I don't blame him for what he's doing. If he were to try to do the surgery right now without a clean amniocentisis, he would certainly be called up before the board to explain his actions. Without really compelling reasons, he could get in serious trouble for taking a baby prior to 36 weeks without doing the amnio first. He believes he has compelling reason to do it, but he's covering his own ass, and I don't blame him. Although I'm still sitting around in pain. I trust this doctor to do what's best...I just hope it happens soon.
As for me, I'm okay. I'm horrifically disappointed on a couple of levels. Physically, this baby is causing a great deal of pain and discomfort, and I'm ready to no longer be pregnant. My husband, mother, father, and kids are all seriously inconvenienced while this goes on...if I can't function, they have to cover me, and it's put lives on hold. Today extends that. The biggest thing, though, for me, is that I'd really started to believe that I would be holding my daughter by tonight - tomorrow at the latest. I had my heart set on it, to be honest. In my mind, I have somewhat connected this baby girl with Erin, and the delay is heartbreaking for that reason.
Anyway, I'm at home, and when I find out something from the doctor, I will let you guys know as soon as possible.
I can't tell you guys what all the well-wishes have meant to me. Forgive me if I'm not 100% up to talking right now.
Y'all be good,
me
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
unexplained absences....explained!
Okay. since most of the people I know who read this are my friends, y'all probably already know what's going on in my little neck of the woods. (i.e. my gigantic uterus.) So I'll be quick with the backstory and then give y'all a quickie update, too. Then I'm getting horizontal again.
Last Thursday, I had a regular checkup with the doctor (at 33w4d) and he found a bulge/hernia in my uterus. I'd been complaining of pain for a while, but now it was like "Oh, yeah, well, I guess you were serious. And here's the reason." Turns out I'm at peak risk for a uterine rupture and the decision was made to get the baby out quickly. Fine by me. They gave me two steroid shots and sent me home to lie around and gestate. My pain level went up...and up....and up over the weekend, and on Monday, I called and begged for an immediate amniocentisis and c/s. No dice. The doctor wanted to wait until Thursday (tomorrow) and do it then. So I've been in bed and in pain pretty much since then. Also, sleep has been non-forthcoming. I am absolutely a hormonal, irritable, hot rotund mess right now. Thank GOD Chris took time off - and my mother also took time off to come down and help me. (seriously, what would we do without our mothers??)
Today, I've been pretty much non-functional. I thought about blogging, but all that I would have been able to type was "DAMMIT this HURTS....get this baby out NOW." Yeah - it's been that bad of a day. This evening it's let up a little bit (thanks to mommy's prescription, which Andy calls "turkey-set") and I'm moderately functional for the time being. (This is unusual for me, because typically I put the 'fun' in dysfunctional, but I digress. Did I mention I'm on painkillers?)
So, most of you knew that. Here's the update.
We go in tomorrow morning at 8am for the amniocentisis. For those of you who don't know, that's when the doctor sticks a huge-ass, incredibly frightening needle directly into my abdomen and takes out some fluid from around la bambina. They test said fluid for her lung maturity. If her lungs are mature, then her eviction is, like, immediate. Here's the rub, though...they're telling me that the tests may not make it back until too late in the day to get her out tomorrow. So now it looks like Friday. I am pissed beyond belief and hoping something will speed this process along.
So that's what's up. Y'all keep me in your thoughts, huh? I don't have a needle phobia, but I'm still not crazy about this procedure tomorrow. (Y'all should SEE this needle, it's incredible.)
Love to all,
me.
Last Thursday, I had a regular checkup with the doctor (at 33w4d) and he found a bulge/hernia in my uterus. I'd been complaining of pain for a while, but now it was like "Oh, yeah, well, I guess you were serious. And here's the reason." Turns out I'm at peak risk for a uterine rupture and the decision was made to get the baby out quickly. Fine by me. They gave me two steroid shots and sent me home to lie around and gestate. My pain level went up...and up....and up over the weekend, and on Monday, I called and begged for an immediate amniocentisis and c/s. No dice. The doctor wanted to wait until Thursday (tomorrow) and do it then. So I've been in bed and in pain pretty much since then. Also, sleep has been non-forthcoming. I am absolutely a hormonal, irritable, hot rotund mess right now. Thank GOD Chris took time off - and my mother also took time off to come down and help me. (seriously, what would we do without our mothers??)
Today, I've been pretty much non-functional. I thought about blogging, but all that I would have been able to type was "DAMMIT this HURTS....get this baby out NOW." Yeah - it's been that bad of a day. This evening it's let up a little bit (thanks to mommy's prescription, which Andy calls "turkey-set") and I'm moderately functional for the time being. (This is unusual for me, because typically I put the 'fun' in dysfunctional, but I digress. Did I mention I'm on painkillers?)
So, most of you knew that. Here's the update.
We go in tomorrow morning at 8am for the amniocentisis. For those of you who don't know, that's when the doctor sticks a huge-ass, incredibly frightening needle directly into my abdomen and takes out some fluid from around la bambina. They test said fluid for her lung maturity. If her lungs are mature, then her eviction is, like, immediate. Here's the rub, though...they're telling me that the tests may not make it back until too late in the day to get her out tomorrow. So now it looks like Friday. I am pissed beyond belief and hoping something will speed this process along.
So that's what's up. Y'all keep me in your thoughts, huh? I don't have a needle phobia, but I'm still not crazy about this procedure tomorrow. (Y'all should SEE this needle, it's incredible.)
Love to all,
me.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
No blogs lately...
I'm sorry for the absense. I've been writing, guys. Honestly, I have. I have started six different blogs in recent days, only to stop about halfway through and thinking to myself "this is crap." Then refusing to publish it. The most recent one was today....a blog that had so much promise and could have sparked such an interesting conversation...and halfway through I abandoned it b/c I was just disgusted with my own writing. Sometimes, my train of thought just left me at the station, with 3-4 paragraphs of tripe.
I have saved all of these, and hopefully I'll get my act together one day really soon, salvage one of them, and put it out there for your reading pleasure. In the meantime, though, I'm just sorry.
I have saved all of these, and hopefully I'll get my act together one day really soon, salvage one of them, and put it out there for your reading pleasure. In the meantime, though, I'm just sorry.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
entitled to a sense of entitlement
I think one of the things that irks me the most is when someone walks around with a sense of entitlement. Ugh, it just drives me batshit. I get nearly homicidal when I see those attorney commercials fishing for people looking to get rich quick. (That's one of my two biggest pet peeves about humanity, and I'll probably expound on it in a later posting.) I get upset when I hear people - rich or poor - walking around like the world owes them something. Life ain't fair, and that's a hard lesson for quite a few people to learn....hell, it's hard for anyone to learn. We all whine about it from time to time, but those who live thier lives trying to gain something for nothing frustrate me.
With that said, there are certain times in a life when a sense of entitlement is a completely appropriate thing, and if you DON'T flaunt it, you're just a turd that's trying to play martyr and ruin it for the rest of us.
As I mentioned yesterday, I am 8 months pregnant. Officially. (Hallelujah, holy shit. Where's the tylenol.) I've carried this fetus, this tiny cherubic parasite, for 8 months at this point. I have a month left to go. And at this point in my pregnancy, I've got a raging sense of entitlement. This is my third pregnancy, and the worst of the lot. I feel like I should be able to do what I want/feel like when I want/feel like it however I want/feel like it. If I want to eat a can of pears for supper, buzz off. If I feel like push-mowing the grass, get outta my way or lose a toe. If I feel crappy and only want to sit on my ever-spreading ass and eat popcicles, then, by God almighty, I should be able to sit on my ass and eat popcicles. And you should bring them to me. And then ask me if I want anything else. And offer to rub my aching back. And this applies to ALL pregnant women. We should be treated like the princesses of the universe that we are.
Now, I think I know what you're thinking. If you didn't put the baby there, why should you pander to a fat, hormonal, incubator that is having difficulties getting up and down, is suffering from endless digestion problems and craving absolutely weird stuff like frozen, uncooked pie crust?
Because if you don't and we catch you, we can sit on you and crush you. And when we're done with that, we'll crush your soul with our evil, hormonal wit. Life is hard enough without getting your ass kicked from the inside.
(Can you tell that I've had a not-feeling-so-hot kinda day?)
I do love y'all. And don't worry....my next mood swing is due in 5.3 seconds. I'll be my usual sunshine and roses at that point.
Y'all be good!
With that said, there are certain times in a life when a sense of entitlement is a completely appropriate thing, and if you DON'T flaunt it, you're just a turd that's trying to play martyr and ruin it for the rest of us.
As I mentioned yesterday, I am 8 months pregnant. Officially. (Hallelujah, holy shit. Where's the tylenol.) I've carried this fetus, this tiny cherubic parasite, for 8 months at this point. I have a month left to go. And at this point in my pregnancy, I've got a raging sense of entitlement. This is my third pregnancy, and the worst of the lot. I feel like I should be able to do what I want/feel like when I want/feel like it however I want/feel like it. If I want to eat a can of pears for supper, buzz off. If I feel like push-mowing the grass, get outta my way or lose a toe. If I feel crappy and only want to sit on my ever-spreading ass and eat popcicles, then, by God almighty, I should be able to sit on my ass and eat popcicles. And you should bring them to me. And then ask me if I want anything else. And offer to rub my aching back. And this applies to ALL pregnant women. We should be treated like the princesses of the universe that we are.
Now, I think I know what you're thinking. If you didn't put the baby there, why should you pander to a fat, hormonal, incubator that is having difficulties getting up and down, is suffering from endless digestion problems and craving absolutely weird stuff like frozen, uncooked pie crust?
Because if you don't and we catch you, we can sit on you and crush you. And when we're done with that, we'll crush your soul with our evil, hormonal wit. Life is hard enough without getting your ass kicked from the inside.
(Can you tell that I've had a not-feeling-so-hot kinda day?)
I do love y'all. And don't worry....my next mood swing is due in 5.3 seconds. I'll be my usual sunshine and roses at that point.
Y'all be good!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Here goes nothing...
Well, ladies and gentlemen, here it is. My blog. I've threatened to do this for a while, and been encouraged to do this even longer...and now it's in action. I'm probably going to belly flop at this, but we're gonna give it the ol' college try. So here we go! Blogga blogga blogga.
I guess for my inaugural blog, I should probably discuss my plans for this little corner of cyberspace. In essence, it is going to be exactly what the title says....the anonymous confessions of a lunatic housewife. (That would be me.) I intend to hold back very, very little in this blog about myself and my absolutely, fabulously hilarious life. I tend to swear, but not to a horrible extent. It's the curse of being a musician's daughter, I suppose. My husband told me to only post things I would want my parents, grandparents and HIS parents reading. I'll try....but I'm still gonna be me. So, beware...this is my life, uncensored. With the occasional typo and spelling/grammatical error.
Who IS this woman, you may ask. Good question. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Here's what I've got so far.
I'm thirty-one years old. I'm still trying to figure out how in the world I got to be in my early thirties...seriously. I am married to a giant nordic looking-fellow, Chris, who will be making frequent appearances in this blog. I have two riotous little boys, Andy (5) and Charlie (19mos), who are the reason I do just about everything I do...good and bad. (That bald spot on the right side of my head? That's Charlie learning to climb everything in sight. The doc says it'll grow back one day.) I'm knocked up with baby #3, a little girl we're planning to name Katie. At least they tell me she's a little girl. I think she's a ninja spider monkey with extra appendages. Actually, as of today, 4/13, I am 8 months pregnant. (Kill me.) I am genuinely petrified at the idea of having a little girl. I mean, I can barely get my own hair to look decent, what the hell am I going to do with a little girl's hair? She'd better like trucks and dinosaurs, that's all I'm sayin'.
I live a little over an hour from my hometown in Virginia, and I'm in the suburb of a mid-sized city. I love it, but I desperately miss my family. DESPERATELY miss my family. It's getting better, although I'm sure in about two months when I'm locked in the house with a newborn, an almost-two-year-old and a kindergartener, I'm going to be full of piss and vinegar about wanting to go home. I like weird, old music and crime shows. I collect deviled egg plates, and I'm the crappiest housekeeper you'll ever meet - although that's getting better. I still go to outrageous lengths to avoid washing the dishes. I will use parenthesis too often in this blog, I'm sure of it. I'll touch on some deep thoughts and opinions I have, but I'll try to do it with humor and a hint of panache.
Topics I'm thinking about blogging in the next few weeks -
For now, though, I'm going to skedaddle. Primarily because my little fetus is using my bladder as a trampoline and Charlie is too quiet for my comfort level.
Y'all be good.
Haley
I guess for my inaugural blog, I should probably discuss my plans for this little corner of cyberspace. In essence, it is going to be exactly what the title says....the anonymous confessions of a lunatic housewife. (That would be me.) I intend to hold back very, very little in this blog about myself and my absolutely, fabulously hilarious life. I tend to swear, but not to a horrible extent. It's the curse of being a musician's daughter, I suppose. My husband told me to only post things I would want my parents, grandparents and HIS parents reading. I'll try....but I'm still gonna be me. So, beware...this is my life, uncensored. With the occasional typo and spelling/grammatical error.
Who IS this woman, you may ask. Good question. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Here's what I've got so far.
I'm thirty-one years old. I'm still trying to figure out how in the world I got to be in my early thirties...seriously. I am married to a giant nordic looking-fellow, Chris, who will be making frequent appearances in this blog. I have two riotous little boys, Andy (5) and Charlie (19mos), who are the reason I do just about everything I do...good and bad. (That bald spot on the right side of my head? That's Charlie learning to climb everything in sight. The doc says it'll grow back one day.) I'm knocked up with baby #3, a little girl we're planning to name Katie. At least they tell me she's a little girl. I think she's a ninja spider monkey with extra appendages. Actually, as of today, 4/13, I am 8 months pregnant. (Kill me.) I am genuinely petrified at the idea of having a little girl. I mean, I can barely get my own hair to look decent, what the hell am I going to do with a little girl's hair? She'd better like trucks and dinosaurs, that's all I'm sayin'.
I live a little over an hour from my hometown in Virginia, and I'm in the suburb of a mid-sized city. I love it, but I desperately miss my family. DESPERATELY miss my family. It's getting better, although I'm sure in about two months when I'm locked in the house with a newborn, an almost-two-year-old and a kindergartener, I'm going to be full of piss and vinegar about wanting to go home. I like weird, old music and crime shows. I collect deviled egg plates, and I'm the crappiest housekeeper you'll ever meet - although that's getting better. I still go to outrageous lengths to avoid washing the dishes. I will use parenthesis too often in this blog, I'm sure of it. I'll touch on some deep thoughts and opinions I have, but I'll try to do it with humor and a hint of panache.
Topics I'm thinking about blogging in the next few weeks -
- Pet Ownership from a severely-allergic-person's point of view.
- Get over yourselves, people, the sky is not falling.
- Haley - A day in the life.
- My addictions. (Don't worry, it's not crank or anything. Although you wouldn't know that from looking at my teeth)
- The joys of parenting - OR - top ten things noone ever told me at my baby showers.
- Celebrities whose fame I just don't get.
For now, though, I'm going to skedaddle. Primarily because my little fetus is using my bladder as a trampoline and Charlie is too quiet for my comfort level.
Y'all be good.
Haley
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